The Mousening
I just spent the last half hour in solemn
confrontation with a mouse in my kitchen. It began with a rustling on
the counter; I ran into the kitchen in time to see him scurry behind the
toaster oven. "I CAN SEE YOU!" I accused at high volume, to his great
alarm, "YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT I CAN SEE YOU RIGHT NOW."
That is when I decided to video-conference D in for the rest of the mouse battle.
"Ok," I said to him, when he asked what was going on and what he was looking at, "I've trapped a mouse behind the toaster oven, using the Tardis cookie jar as a blockade. So unless this mouse is a Time Lord, there's no way he's getting away."
I think our mouse might be a Time Lord.
I also quickly came to regret bringing my own backseat mouse-trapper to the battlefield. D kept asking why I wasn't using a box with a stick tied to a string, as I erected increasingly elaborate Rube Goldberg contraptions.
Here's how the confrontation ended from D's POV:
D: "Why don't you fasten those two cookie racks together with a twistie tie?"
Sycorax Pine: "I don't know whether I have a twistie tie. Let me just see whether there's one in... AAAH!!!! AAAAH!!! AAAAAAAAAH!!!!!" The video feed shudders with in a clatter of baking tools and hideous screams.
D: "What's happening? What am I looking at? Why am I talking to our food processor now?"
SP: "I CAN SEE YOU! I CAN TOTALLY SEE YOU!"
D: "Where is he? What happened?"
SP: "Behind the dish drainer. Look, little friend, I just want to humanely trap you and take you outside so I don't have to call the exterminator to kill you. Can't we come to some sort of understanding?"
Mouse Time Lord: [!!!]
D: "I THOUGHT YOU HAD HIM TRAPPED. HOW DID HE GET OVER BY THE DISH RACK?"
SP: "Look, if you aren't in the trenches, you don't know what it's like."
Later...
SP: "Do you approve of the account of the mouse battle I posted online?"
D: "Yes, but you are still leaving out a crucial part of the story."
SP: "That I was outwitted by a mouse?"
D: "That the mouse didn't escape via a TIME MACHINE, but rather through a weakness in your defenses. It's like being a Time Lord, but even more like just walking through an open door."
I concede nothing.
Farfara
October 27, 2012
That is when I decided to video-conference D in for the rest of the mouse battle.
"Ok," I said to him, when he asked what was going on and what he was looking at, "I've trapped a mouse behind the toaster oven, using the Tardis cookie jar as a blockade. So unless this mouse is a Time Lord, there's no way he's getting away."
I think our mouse might be a Time Lord.
I also quickly came to regret bringing my own backseat mouse-trapper to the battlefield. D kept asking why I wasn't using a box with a stick tied to a string, as I erected increasingly elaborate Rube Goldberg contraptions.
Here's how the confrontation ended from D's POV:
D: "Why don't you fasten those two cookie racks together with a twistie tie?"
Sycorax Pine: "I don't know whether I have a twistie tie. Let me just see whether there's one in... AAAH!!!! AAAAH!!! AAAAAAAAAH!!!!!" The video feed shudders with in a clatter of baking tools and hideous screams.
D: "What's happening? What am I looking at? Why am I talking to our food processor now?"
SP: "I CAN SEE YOU! I CAN TOTALLY SEE YOU!"
D: "Where is he? What happened?"
SP: "Behind the dish drainer. Look, little friend, I just want to humanely trap you and take you outside so I don't have to call the exterminator to kill you. Can't we come to some sort of understanding?"
Mouse Time Lord: [!!!]
D: "I THOUGHT YOU HAD HIM TRAPPED. HOW DID HE GET OVER BY THE DISH RACK?"
SP: "Look, if you aren't in the trenches, you don't know what it's like."
Later...
SP: "Do you approve of the account of the mouse battle I posted online?"
D: "Yes, but you are still leaving out a crucial part of the story."
SP: "That I was outwitted by a mouse?"
D: "That the mouse didn't escape via a TIME MACHINE, but rather through a weakness in your defenses. It's like being a Time Lord, but even more like just walking through an open door."
I concede nothing.
Farfara
October 27, 2012